I can see why you say this: that God didnt design for this to happen, but my own feeling at this stage is that, although I'm not saying that we cannot come to God through the comfortable places in our lives; through the happy days when we know that we belong and are loved and can love; but we come to know God much more deeply through the places where it all goes wrong and where nothing fits. Don't ask me how or why this is so because I do not know except to say that His purpose is not what we expect and any plans we make will need to be disrupted if we are to find Him. We find Him in our wounds which do not heal. All we must do is to trust, even when things seem unbearable: if we can do that there nothing can hold us back.