.. Yes, kids come and go, but always know that you have been a positive role model in their lives. It is what children need so much nowadays. Someone who they can trust and an AF who will lend a heart to them :) You seem like a respectable person, and I understand what you are feeling. I have had a few young friends in my lifetime and treasure every memory I have of them while they were with me. We have had so much fun together and laughter. Seeing a kid be himself, and being apart of his/her world is more precious and sacred than anything else I could ever imagine. It is close to heaven! :D I have prayed so hard in my life to Jesus above that he will send a child in my life who would need me, and thankfully he has sent me a boy (that considers me his second best friend, besides the one he has a at school). I am glad to be a role model and a friend to a child that has a mother that is struggling with drugs and has several different boyfreinds within 2 weeks. He is so confused and it is nice to see him laugh with me and see the twinkle in his eyes.
Just hangh in there Cat, God will guide you, Pray about it, and have a positive attitude. Children can sense our true love we have for them in our hearts. They are more sensitive and intuitive than most adults.. they are in the sensory mode.

wishing you the best,

The silent guardian