Hi there.

I'm a rap artist (emphasis on artist) looking to make it in the world. I record under the name Switchblade Psycho but y'all can call me Switch. I come from the honorable tradition of gangsta rap but am becoming increasingly aware of the genre's limitations. Gats, cash, murder, whores, drugs, and exaggerated bravado have all been covered so much there's little more to say. I'm reconsidering my position in the whole game, evaluating it from a fresh angle. With rappers branching out into other genres such as horror-core, featuring increasingly violent and offensive content, it is clear there is an appetite for taboo material and an opportunity for change and innovation. This is why I have decided to become a pedophile and address pedophilic content in my music, an obvious recipe for financial success and street credibility. Christians tend to be weird, helpful people, so I pose a few questions for y'all:

1. Once you've chosen to become a pedophile and joined an online pedophile community, what other lifestyle changes should be made?

2. How many victims does a pedophile need to have in order to receive the triangular pedophile pendent shown on Oprah?

3. What is the best way to disguise yourself when hunting prey? I'm in the process of designing myself a mask but I fear this may lead to unwanted attention.