im still friends with those two and they both continue to make my life much more palatable. it's more an issue of really wanting a physical relationship with *someone* and i'd have to go out and meet new people etc...and that's not really gonna happen anytime soon.

but mostly it's about being in denial i think, that these last few years i tried so hard [considering my aspergers] to attach myself to two adults i found attractive in an attempt to fight my BL impulses and now that we're just friends i find myself thinking about boys and frankly it feels so natural im not even fighting it.

but you're totally right. and im glad i have ppl who still care about me now that im not annoying them trying to get into their pants ;)