Christian BoyLove Forum #66833
The theme in your post is fear. Five times in as many sentences you use a fear term (concern, fear, afraid, fears, "plagues me"). So I would point you to this:
2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
John 10:10b I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 8:32 ...and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
Christ didn't die for you so that you would live life shackled by the chains of fear. He died to bring you freedom and life to the fullest. If you are living a life of constant fear that you might mess up, you aren't living in the freedom God has for you.
I'm not saying you should ignore risks and charge head on into temptation. But this doesn't sound like the situation you are describing. It sounds like you are living a fear-driven life when what God wants for you is freedom. God isn't waiting for you to to fall so that he can cut you off, he's waiting for you to fall so he can pick you up and comfort you.