There is a way that seems right to a man but its end is the way of death. Pro 14:12

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God... 1 John 4:7a

As a married BL with a yf who is so dear to me and a wife who feels some jealousy over my relationship with him I find myself wrestling with the love question. There is no doubt in my heart that I love them both so very much but what does one do when the love you have for a yf causes pain to your wife? Can I love both my wife & my yf?
Of course I do have attraction & romantic interest in him. But my love for him and my love for her compell me to transcend those kinds of feelings and act and think of him only as a dear friend & little brother in Christ.
In a strange reverse, I don't have much attraction or sexual interest in my wife but love compells me to make an effort to love her sexually (in practical terms) and stay faithful to her in thought and action.
Of course I cannot love him or her like this apart from God's grace.

The proverb inclines me to tread carefully. I tell myself that it is real love I feel for my yf and my motives towards him are pure but this verse reminds me not to overly trust my own judgement. Sometimes what I want seems right to me but will have disasterous consequences if it is not. On the other hand, the verse from John tells me that love is from God and if my thoughts & actions towards my yf are truly holy and loving then they are a blessing to be enjoyed with gratitude.

Prayer
Father, help us separate love feelings from lust feelings in regards to the boys (and others) that we love. Help us walk in a godly way and give us wisdom & humility when a death path calls out to us & seems right. At the same time help us not to deny real love in a relationship because there are some struggles with lust or other distractions. Help us to let love overcome lust. Finally help us to balance our love for our yfs with our love for other's in our lives that we may know your peace & blessing in all things. I ask this in Jesus name. Amen.