15Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinnersof whom I am the worst. 16But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. 17Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Timothy 1:15-17
"The worst of sinners" Paul calls himself. I feel some connection to this idea as a boylover. There are many people who feel that pedophiles are the worst kind of sinners. Some who wonder how we can even call ourselves Christians... yet hear we are. And like Paul we can make the claim of being living displays of God's unlimited patience.
I've always found that one of the perks of being a BL is that I can never really think myself something special (in a proud and obnoxious way)from a worldly point of view. Remembering who I am in the worlds' eyes helps to keep me humble and very grateful for the Lord being so gracious and loving and merciful to one such as I.
I can't expect that kind of mercy from the world... but God gives it to me in bucket loads in Christ. And he gives it not just for my own salvation, but also as an example to others. Whilst I don't feel that being a pedo makes me low in myself, I know that my salvation has been a blessing to others in the "if the Lord can save him, surely He'll save me" kind of way.
As to a prayer in the light of all this... I'm happy to simply join Paul in his awed gratitude:
Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.