I have felt sexually attracked to two diffrent boys in the past three years. the first boy was an relitive of mine and we hung out and stuff. He got me to stop doing alot of dumb wild stuff.I started feeling attracted to him. I told him about it and he still wanted to be around me. We were very close. but recantlly i did something I shouldn't have and he hates me now and my mother and father found out about it.I started goning back to church and work in the food pantry.Over the summer I met a nieghbor who was is 12 and we started hanging out and I took care of him if he needed anythinhg. His father does let him out the house so he sneaks out to see me or I sneak in. Then my father found out I told me to stop talking to him> I told the the neighbor that we chouldn't talk and he cried really bad. We talked for an hour and he stilled want to keep seeing me. Then I told him why. and he siad he didn;t care. And we have been talking since. He has gotton "more playful" he has tried to get me to do stuff to him and says he was playing. Then he came out and said he thinks he might be gay. I told him that all kids his age go through stuff like that and he just might be confused. But no one tell him what he is only him. Ever since he said that i have felt sexually attracted to with. Before both of them I only loved myself and having fun. I cared about no one. And he is aobut the only one i care about. I don't care about any other kid that is why i don't know if i am a pedophille. but i have thought about doing stuff with the neighbor. He keeps testing me i I don't want to hurt him if he ends up hating me I don't know what i well do. I love him and he tells me he loves me all the time. I promised him that I won't try to leave him agian. but if I keep feeling this way I think i may have to.