I was away for a while. The tea and cookies analogy refers to the difference between having a thought and focusing on a thought. If a thought pops into your head, that's one thing. But if you nurture that thought (ask it in for tea and cookies) that's another thing entirely. As an example, if a man looks at a pretty woman in a bikini and maybe smiles, but then goes about his business, chances are the woman will take it as a compliment. But if the man stares and lets his eyes wander up and down her body, he may get his face slapped. Just because a boy may not be aware we are looing at him with the same lust as the aforementioned man doesn't mean there's nothing wrong with it.

When I look at a cool sports car it's not appealing to my sexual appetites. Just because I don't fantasize about sexing a boy I may be looking at doesn't mean I'm not looking at him in lust. I don't beat myself up when I see a boy in "that way." I don't think badly of myself at all since I have no control over what appeals to me sexually. But I do think it's wrong to nurture that attraction. If an action would be against God's will, then I believe nurturing the thought would be against God's will as well. I understand where you are coming from. You believe that since you aren't actually fantasizing about sexing the boy it's ok to focus on his sexiness. My stance is that since we wouldn't be getting this kind of pleasure out of looking at a sexy boy if it wasn't for the fact that we are sexually attracted to them, then by focusing on that sexiness is playing at the fringes of sin. I truly enjoy seeing cute boys. And I'm certainly guilty of focusing on their bodies sometimes. But I try to avoid it as much as I can because of the reasons I stated above. Just my opinion.

Dakota