When we have hope that the beautiful boy we see before us can bring us happiness then of course he lights up our world.

But

If that hope is crushed and dashed against the rocks of life experience that same beautiful boy becomes a reminder of the pain and loss that comes with loving him.

Of course... as long as you are trying to hope for what you can never have... the happily ever after with a lover your attrated to and who loves you back the same way... then the boy will ever burn you.

For me the answer is to realign what you're hoping for.
Let go the impossible happy ever after dream... embrace what we can have (as hard a life as it is)... and enjoy it for what it is rather than for what it's not.

Make two lists. "what I wish I could have"... and "what I actually CAN have". Make the lists positive (ie: don't be cynical and put "A BIG FAT NOTHING!" on your what you actally can have list). Maybe some items will be on both lists. Notice the things on your WISH list you can't have and cross them off and let them go... stop moaning about not having them... stop spending energy focusing on them. Count them as loss... grieve them... move on. Then notice the things on your CAN HAVE list and ask yourself.... could I enjoy a life with these things? I believe you will answer 'yes' (many boylovers do).

If this process works... I think you will find that the sunshine of boys will come back.

Blessings
Cat.