I can understand and even sympathize with how you feel, however I want you to know something. I have three nephews and have helped raise all three of them. And when I say help, I mean actually changing diapers to making meals and everything else in between. The oldest of my nephews was actually named after me. I grew very close to all three of those boys and never, ever thought about doing anything sexual with them. Not that I wasn't attracted to them, I was, but I was always able to make a choice which I believed to be the right choice. I also have a niece who calls me her favorite uncle and who I love so much. I'm not attracted to girls, but I also treated her just as well as I did the three boys...in some ways we were actually closer than the boys and I. Then there was my YF, "L", who I knew from the time he was 8 till he was 18. And I never, ever did anything sexual with him, either. There were times he would actually slip and call me "dad". I used to tell him, "I wish I really were your dad." And I did, too, because his real dad couldn't care less about him and I was more a father to him than anyone else in his life. He gave me all of his heart and I gave him all of mine.

You say I have no understanding of the heart of a natural father, and in the case of my "L", I would agree. I have no idea how that boy's natural father could have abandoned him when he was only two years old. "L" literally did not know his father at all, but he did know me. And I was determined to be the very best "father" I could be because that dear boy deserved it! He grew up in a bad, bad neighborhood in the worst kind of circumstances, but the one thing I could do for him was to be there for him as much as I could and be the best father-figure or big brother to him as I could. I loved him with all my heart and he loved me the same. We might not have been blood-related but we were certainly "heart-related"

So you can feel any way that you like, it doesn't bother me, but I just hope and pray that some day if your sons are in dire need of someone to reach out to and for some reason (God Forbid!)they can't reach out to you, there will be someone there like a BL who can help them out.