Beloved Brother,

I've been praying and thinking about your recent posts and I've been wondering at what seems to be your frustration I keep reading there.

I kind of wonder if perhaps you've been taking out your feelings of dissappointment on this board in a way that isn't helping your primary cause.

The way I imagine it is like this:
You are wanting so much to please the Lord and live your life for Him.
You see your sexual attraction to "young male flesh" as so in the way of doing that that it causes you physical distress.
You have prayed and sought for healing and prayed and sought and prayed and sought and you always keep falling back into the struggles of your attractions.... that's gotta be frustrating.
And you worry that we are collectively not focused enough on seeking that healing.... of wanting it.... and thus posting about it.
So now it comes to deciding to take an "extended break" from this place but in a short while you are going to find that even THAT won't solve the problem or help you win this battle.

If I'm right bro... my heart is aching as I type this... the last thing I want is for you to go off and try facing this stuff alone...though sadly you are probably feeling somewhat issolated here already :(

Bigcalv, I love you brother.
More importantly so does God.
He accepts you as you are... boylover and all.
There is some relief in this battle... but it doesn't come from wishing it away.
Take Courage
Post here your true heart.... rather than focusing on what you see lacking in the posts of others.
I believe that God wants you to be in a place of peace.
Sure we struggle with sin, sure we should fight hard to overcome... BUT
accept who you are
accept that God's forgiveness covers your struggles "love covers a multitude of Sins".
keep confessing... keep seeking... keep looking to Jesus for his "mercy and grace to help in times of need".
Enter into His rest and let Jesus do what you cannont... let him save you.

With all my heart
Blessings
Cat.