I don't agree that in a adult-child relationship the BL can always decide how the balance of power plays out.

I don't feel so powerful around boys I fall for. My emotional connection to them makes me feel very vulnerable and thus powerless.

I've see two year olds throwing tantrums and wielding power over a mother like you wouldn't believe (or perhaps you would because it's NOT UNCOMMON!).

An adult may have some advantages physically and experientially over a child, but children are not stupid. They can weigh up quite well if those things are a threat to them or not and see the areas where their youth and energy and confidence can overwhelm an adult. It always facinates me to see little kiddies wrestling with giant adults without fear.... and full of laughter. Trust is a powerful thing... as is love.

Overall I am more comfortable and do feel safer with child friends than with adult friends. But this balance shifts in favour of the child if I have emotional feelings towards him.... I no longer get to choose and I don't feel more comfortable.

Blessings
Cat.