It's really difficult to get advice here qt because you will find that none of us agree, and yet we nearly all call ourselves christian and we all believe that scripture is the word of God. Perhaps thats not a bad thing, you will read the wide range of views and decide then which, in your heart of hearts, you feel is right. It's still very confusing.
My own view is that there is no right or wrong in matters of the heart. The right or wrong comes in how we act on what we feel rather than what we feel. It's impossible to know your circumstances. You might be desperate, or you might just be a bit curious, or you might even by bluffing: there's no way we can tell.
Can I ask a couple of questions? Do you yourself feel it is wrong? and have you been able to find anyone to talk to, and if you have, what view did they take?
ng