It looks like we're probably on the same page, but just a quick comment:

It's when the guilt of it causes problems that it stops being ok.

I agree that we should not go against our own conscience (or advise anyone else to do so). However, I don't think that the presence of guilt is an indicator of God's view on a particular subject. [There are many Christian teens that are distraught with guilt over occasionally giving in to masturbation.] Our minds need to be renewed in His Truth, so that our consciences will be able to correctly guild us ... away from sin, and into Godly freedom.

Blessings,
Rainboy