Hi. I'd just like to unload my feelings to a group of people who both empathise and who have a very strong moral/ethical foundation.

I've noticed having these feelings about young boys for a couple of years now, especially my cousins of 9 and 4. I didn't see them very often, and when I did see them, I attempted to see as much of them as possible, without crossing the boundary of seeing their bare bottoms/fronts while they were awake. It was basically a sexual thing, though I would attempt to spend quality time with the 9 year old so that he would be friendly toward me.

I never acted on these feelings, because I knew it would completely ruin my life if I was to get caught.

Up until recently, I had thought I was quite alone in this, and I blamed these feelings on the fact that I had a very small key, which make more sense going into a very small keyhole (pardon the analogy).

Anyway, long story short, I ended up volunteering at the local elementary school, obviously with a strict look-don't-touch goal. But very quickly, I realized that it must've been more than just penis size. I really fell in love with the kids very quickly (I was working mainly with 5-8 year olds), and I felt a very strong sense of attachment to a couple of boys, and the feelings were PURELY emotional. When I sat at the back of the classroom waiting for my group of students, and I saw one of those two special boys, I felt these lovely, warm, "parental" feelings, and often I would inconspicuously put my hands over my face and grin with intense glee.

I wanted to hold them, to protect them, to make sure they had a wonderful life. I wanted them to be happy all the time, blah blah blah I could go on forever. Even though I was technically sexually attracted to them, I specifically DID NOT EVER want to have sexual anythings with them, because I knew they were children, and I now firmly believe they are non-sexual beings, just wonderful, amazing little people.

I'm attracted sexually to a few of the older boys (10-12), but I know they are still children and that there isn't any chance of anything ever happening, so I tend not to think about it too much.

But yeah. I feel much happier and confident in myself now that I realise that I am at no risk of "snapping" and putting any child at any kind of risk.

Thanks for listening. :)

I'd be interested in learning about other forums of this nature or similar, so I'd love to hear from you via email. twohundredpages@safe-mail.net


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