This being said, I'm a Christian, used to go to church, but even though I always BELIEVED he was there, I've never felt him (much less believed he loved me).

I'm sorry you've been feeling like this. For what it's worth, I was in a very similar position for many years in my Christian walk. Though I believed in God, and desperately wanted to experience His presence and know that He loved me (at a level more than intellectual), there was nothing. I would pray, but it was as if there was a concrete ceiling above me.

But I kept seeking God. [And I say this in humility, because I know if God didn't give me the motivation and hunger to continue seeking Him, I probably would have given up.] I kept seeking and "pressing in" (to use a somewhat "churchy" term), and eventually there was a massive breakthrough that made the years of struggle worthwhile. [In my case it was years, but I certainly hope it won't be that long for you.]

The breakthrough happened through prayer from some friends at church. At the time I had just started attending a church that had a strong belief in the power of prayer, and that God wants to be active in our lives today (and not just in the lives of those thousands of years ago). At a "home group" (cell group) one evening, I told them about my desire to experience God, and they gathered around, laid their hands on me (as charismatic church folk sometimes do), and prayed for me for about 20 minutes. At the time I didn't feel anything (other than warmth), but when I got home, there was a breakthrough more amazing than I could ever have hoped for. God stepped into my reality, and I experienced His presence and His love for the first time. I can't really describe it, but I can certainly say my life was changed from that moment on. Since that time, the "concrete ceiling" is gone. When I pray, I feel that He is close, and I experience His love for me. It's wonderful!

Hints/tips/questions/advice

Well, I would strongly recommend you find a good church and start attending. Just as a burning log will quickly begin to cool off the moment it is away from the fire, so it is with us. We really need to be part of a group of other believers that are desiring to know God, worship Him, connect with Him, etc...

As for the church itself, I'd recommend you find one that is ... alive! It's hard to pin-point exactly what that means, but you'll know it when you find it. Don't settle for a place where everyone there seems as "unconnected" as you currently feel. That's not likely to help. Find a church where, just being around the other believers there begins to stir a deeper hunger and passion for God in your life.

Seek after God with all your heart! It may be frustrating for a while, but He will answer your prayers. He is faithful!

[Also, get others to pray for you ... in person, if possible. There is something special about this sort of prayer, and it could be a turning point in your life...]

Hope this helps. I'll pray for you.

Blessings,
Rainboy