..excuse the french, but this time it's actually a quote.
I'm at a loss where to start, but I had to write this down somewhere, and reflect.

I recently wrote about my young friend's screwed up family. And at one point mentioned that he was actually my second cousin. I just discovered a frightening and very clear discovery about my family. (well, one side of it)

When I was really little - I remember my older cousin (my YF's uncle) molesting me. I remember it vividly. It didn't seem wrong, and of course, as we all here know, I later on began having my own fun with other boy's my age. Time passes, my uncle (my YF's grandfather) divorced and remarried - got married to a woman who also divorced, so he inherited a grandson. So, step cousin. Step cousin is about two years younger then me, and there are eight years between me and my YF, so six years between my 'step' cousin and my young friend. My step cousin at one point, totally wanted to fondle me, and almost did, but it didn't happen.

Anyway, here we are about six years later, and I find out - my YF was molested by my step cousin. Who (if you can do the math) was almost undoubtedly molested by my actual cousin (the one who molested me).

I don't cuss around my young friend, and as he was almost crying, confessing this horrible expierence to me, it just slipped.
"Whole damn family is messed up."
So at this point im ready to jump out a window.

Me and my cousin have this honest policy, that we don't keep things from each other, and so far, he's about 0/4 as far as this goes, he keeps leaving stuff out (of course the sensitive stuff i don't push, like the molestations, ect) But, he's almost thirteen now; and I just remember all the stupid mistakes i made as a kid. I warned about cheeky preteens and that he may be faced with some weird stuff at his friends houses, and that he should flee from it, at all costs. (Speaking of porn here) Of course AFTER we have this talk, he goes to his friend's house, and marches his penguin about three times while watching porn, in the same night. Of course, I get a little hot headed.

I'm like, Jesus Christ kid, I thought SOMETHING i would have said would have made a difference. People are like trees, the grow one way or the other, and some people end up with some wicked branches. His uncle (my molester) has a child from a woman he's not married too, and molested me; his mom has two children from two different men, whom she's not married too. And his step cousin molested him, and had TWINS before his 17th birthday! I told him this, and I'm like, man, I'm trying to make you see if you don't dodge this stuff and i quoted "you can watch all the porn you want, make all the bad choices you want, and you WILL end up a piece of shit like the rest of your family". Honestly I 'over' reacted, forgetting all the crap this kid has been through. But I meant it. The further down the family tree it goes, the more screwed up they get! And guess who's next on the hit list? I didn't notice but at this point he was sobbing. In a really deep cry. And my anger instantly melted away. I said "I'm sorry" and kissed him on the cheek, tasting a salty tear or two. I wasn't expecting to hear what I heard.

"I'm so lucky to have you, I don't want to end up like them."

I told him not to hold stuff like that back, my weakness: I CARE.
I told him when he starts growing those wicked branches, it hurts.
He responded. "Next time I'll tell him no, and just go in the other room"
Not sure if he can resist porn. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, but he needs to stay away from that.

Side note: I took the time to explain to him that masturbation is TOTALLY okay (by himself) and to not feel guilty about it.

He really felt terrible, and that's what I'm aiming for. I want him to think about me before making those mistakes. I'm in this for the long run. Everyone in his family screwed around sexually, made terrible choices, and didn't give a crap about school, and ultimetly - didn't go to college, never got a job and are basically living stupid, avoidable lives. I told him, while holding him close. YOU ARE NOT YOUR FAMILY - I WILL NOT LET YOU END UP LIKE THAT! I told him I love him. But I also (and this made me feel cold) told him that he has a choice in this, he can watch all the porn he wants, do all the things his parents or other family members did. But I warned him that I won't be apart of that. I won't subject myself to torture. He knows he has a choice and can grow as many wicked branches as he wants.

But I held his hand "if you want to cut those branches off for good, I'm here".

He made it very clear that's what he wanted.