Hello fellow BL Christians! It is so nice to still see this board up and running. It's much needed. I appreciate the positive morality here and the strong community in which we can bond and support one another. The internet (and God) has saved me so many times from ending my life. I now look back and am very thankful that I hadn't done it. I have learned that a part of growing up is to overcome it to become a stronger person. I can't tell you how many times in life that I had experienced uplifting moments that would be a shame to miss if I would have went through with it. I am coming to a conclusion as a BL/GL (AKA CL) that being attracted to children is a gift rather than a burden. If you look all around you, you can see all of the neglected and abused children who needs someone in their life to be a good role model and friend to help them through the struggle. I feel more and more each day the yearning to be a lighthouse for them in some way -- wherever that maybe.
I know I have been praying so hard to God that he may send that special child into my life who needs a trusting AF to care for them when they need support. Thankfully as of right now, I had befriended a boy around seven years old (through adult friendships) that really needs a male role model in his life. The mother has been struggling with drugs and has been seeing so many different guys just about every week. It really saddens my heart and I thank God that he sent me this little angel to really be a good friend and male role model. He cheers me up, and I tickles me when he always talks about me or asks where I am at when I am away. I have known him for about 4 months. I pray for him everyday that God will send angels down to protect him when I am not around him -- the very thought of him getting hurt or even abused by her *cough* boyfriend(s) makes me sick to my stomach! Another thing I am trying to overcome is some jealousy and frustration. Without going into much details, there is this guy that apparently his mom knows. He has been baby sitting him -- and it hurts to see him with him when he could be with me. I get somewhat jealous and can't stand to see this guy talk with him... although he seems harmless and nice (praise god). I sound possessive, but I am not, I just love being with him, and hope he doesn't forget about me. I am finding out that he hasn't and still asks if I can play games with him :) The holy spirit is teaching me, and I am listening, feeling my emotions, and sorting them out to be a better person for him and everyone.
Anyway, thanks for reading through this, I just wanted to introduce myself to everyone here on this board and vent my feelings. I have had the honour to be a friend to kids from time to time and I am always happy to hear when they say I am special to them. I sure know children are to me, very precious souls indeed! The love I feel is beyond words, and I am sure you know what I am talking about :) I will try to be on as much as I can. It is great to get back on here for support and friendship with like minded people. God bless you all.. and know you are a gift when a child is in need of a good friend!

-- The Silent Guardian