Just posting to thank you all again for the advice. I've been trying to return to fellowship when my job allows. While I still find it difficult to enjoy spending time with my church family(due to the fact it still feels awkward to be around certain members) for the most part I feel as though I'm able to be around them again. When I returned I was confronted by one of my closer friends about why I hadn't been to church in awhile. To make a long story short he ended up finding out about my sexuality(including the bl/gl part) this was about 2 weeks ago and our friendship seems to have only become stronger through this. Although he teases me about it all the time, he's also covered for me a few times when stupidity grabed hold of my mind(e.g. we were walking in a local grocery store getting some stuff and I saw the most beautiful girl standing in an aisle. I basically walked into a display of canned cat food and fell over. He knew exactly what had happened but when people started to stare he laughed at me and called me a drunk, lol) There are still times when I feel detatched from God because of who I am, but I think its getting better. Once again, thank you all for your' help.