never really thought about it that way.

i think deep inside i feel that possibly i wont be able to handle it emotionally. im very 'needy' right now, so maybe unconsciously i might be self-sabotaging the whole prospect.

with my YF things just 'happened' naturally. he kind of snuck up on me and let me fall in love with him. but this time around, i feel like i'd be 'plotting' the situation for it to even occur. something very unsettling about that for me. there's a wonderful boy i kinda know by association who gave off just the right kind of vibe [my sensors picked up instantly]. after being enchanted with him at a gathering i went home and started thinking "hmmm...i wonder how i can get close to him" for a while, but eventually the whole thing kinda creeped me out.

gotta do some more thinking. maybe it IS the only way it'll happen, but you never know