You're a human being, trying to control one of the most powerful forces and motivators that were ever built into your body. You're going to be fighting this for the rest of your life. So get over your angst and look at it in a different way.

For you it is not the powerful force that would drive you to reproduce yourself. For you, it is a powerful force that drives you to seek out the companionship of boys. Sure it wants to compel you to have sex with them but lucky for you this is the part you have control over. You already have the the power of the Holy Spirit available to you and that is more powerful than any human emotion, feeling or drive you can possibly imagine.

Look at it this way. You are trying to stop the waves if you are also trying to stop your feelings or desires if you prefer that word instead. Those feelings will stop when you realise that you are standing at the gates of heaven and Christ gives you a grin and says "Hey bigcalv! How was life?"

So, stop worrying about them. If God thought that your feelings were too horrific then he wouldn't have placed in your heart the desire to please him and the need to love him. Do you really think he cares that you were looking at a boy and you started to consider him as a bed mate. If that condemns you, then how many men are condemned who look at a woman and because of their nature they start to consider her as a bed mate. If that were the case there would be no one who loved God. Every man and boy on this planet who had reached puberty and many who are prepubescent would be condemned.

You are not perverted. Your desires are not perverted. So, unless you intend to use those desires to force a boy into an act he doesn't want to have a part of, then let Christ worry about them. After all didn't he say "Throw your burden upon me"

BlindLepper