There is a big difference between what we wish we could have and what we can have.

I think it's very important to be realistic about what we can have and then accept that and make a decision to suffer the loss of what we wish and to be content with what we can have.

It's a simple idea... but I think it really makes a difference.

For instance... take Thilo. He is indeed wonderful. One can wish to love him in all sorts of ways. So let's be realistic. What's our chance of meeting him let alone having a relationship with him on the level a boylover could wish for... pretty slim to impossible I'd wager. So let's say I accept that. It hurts but that's just how it is. I can't do anything to make it otherwise. So then I ask, realistically, what can I have with Thilo? Well I can enjoy his videos on youtube... they are great. I can celebrate God's magnificent creation in this boy and thank God for him and even pray for him. That's some significant enjoyment there! Ok so Thilo is out of my reach... but is there prehaps some other person...a boy even... whom I could have a real relationship with? I have a look around and sure enough... I find someone. Now again... the relationship may not be everything I "wish" it could be. There are some significant things in the romantic/sexual arena I'm going to have to go without. I will accept that, grieve the loss of it (because it does hurt) and then focus on enjoying what I can have. Before you know it my young friend and I are getting on great and having a wonderful time together. Praise God.

Of course the working out of these things is more complex than this simple illustration... but I hope you get the idea of what I'm suggesting.

Blessings
Cat.