I can imagine that a lot of other guys that are like me deal with similar problems.

I don't have a lot of interaction with boys in real life. Most of my exposure is through the internet. I tend to avert my eyes when I see boys in real life, like in the grocery store or at the library.

I'm just going through a dark period in my life where I look back on my life and it just isn't what I wanted it to be--I'm poor and alone and it's driving me nuts. Where before I could watch videos of cute smiling boys and feel a bit happier, now they just remind me of what I don't have... :(

Thank you for the kind response.