ive been reading your posts, and im really feeling for you...

i also have aspergers, and can certainly empathize with most of the feelings you have.

but i'd like to say that as far as 'tragic' lives go, i get the prize. if you want me to elaborate, to compare notes, etc, ill be happy to share my life-story, but for now, to save space [and possible boredom] i'll just leave it at that.

at least you have a career, or something like it [2 masters degrees !!!]. i've been working minimum wage since i got out of high school...

your life is not as bad as you feel. idk how else to say this. we aspies tend to do that. yes, people are incomprehensible 90% of the time. but you're alive and [i assume] in good health. so life is not what you'd like it to be. it took me 7 years to realize it's never gonna be ideal, but i'm alive now, i still have all my limbs, a roof over my head, enough to eat, and today is what i make it, even when things outside my control go awry i can [almost always] choose my reaction and attitude.

yeah, my life [mostly] sucks, but it could be sooo much worse. i hope this doesnt sound callous. i spent years and years mourning for things, for ideas, for love, and nothing good ever came of it.

as an aspie, idk how much you accept and love yourself. i know a lot of us just 'want to be normal', but it ain't happening. i've barely realized that yes, i have limitations, but i also excel at things other ppl cant even dream of doing...idk how much of your posting has to do with being an aspie, but i think thats where the main problem lies [correct me if im wrong]. the relationships with both kids and adults that were so frustrating.

i tend to reaaaaly looong posts so im gonna cut it off here hehe. i do hope you can find a way to work with yourself rather than against. and again sorry if im being a bit blunt :)