..the boy. If you don't know what I'm talking about I was confronted with a moving delima about.. a month ago. Anywho, I somehow.. SOMEHOW defused the situation, which unfortunetly cost me my part time job (it was crap anyway) but I get to stay here with my family and my little cousin and my young friend. In fact, things are better now then ever - minus being broke, but hopefully that can change.

You know I was sitting here at my computer one night, and was looking at the pictures of my young friend last year before his thirteenth birthday, and I couldn't notice until I put our most recent photo right next to it, but good lord how time changes you. He's grown only more handsome, and even though I've spent EVERY moment of these past two years together I feel like I've somehow missed out on something. His mom is.. wierd to be nice about it but to be frank, she sucks as a mother and doesn't spend nearly as much time with him as she should.

I'd love to spend all the time in the world with him, but I actually promote spending time with his family, as much of a headache that actually is. My favorite thing about my young friend is how open he is with me. Just me. It makes me feel special. He actually told me some time ago when we where first becoming close that he knew he was gay from a young age (As I guess at least a good half of gay people do) and he keeps me up to date about all his boy-crushes.

It's in a good spot where it's adorable and I don't have to talk about sex - at least in depth - yet, thats not really a subject we step on unless need be. It's like no matter how special I am to him, and him to me, and no matter how much time we spend together I still feel like I missed something. It's really strange, but I wouldn't have it any other way. For the first time in my life I'm okay with a boy I love growing up, in fact I'm sort of looking forward to it, so that he can be a little more independant, and if it's meant to be we can be life long friends.

I've learned to count my blessings, though I only get to one before I can say that I'm blessed, between my younger cousin moving closer to me (ergo spending more time with him) and my young friend, I'm honestly boy-filled and happy as can be. Just need to get the other half of life back into balance.