I was much in a similar mental state even a year or so ago. I was depressed, lazy, and really... I couldn't seem to get interested enough to DO anything. Combined with the fact that I was hugely envious of a friend's yf, I pretty much thought that I'd never be anything that lucky, even to HAVE that close friendship.

Within a few months, I had 3 different routes open up through which I could develop a friendship with a boy. Funny how things like that happen, but it's possible.

What caused the change? I quit focusing so much on wanting a boy, and started just going about my life like I should. I got more into the one boy-related hobby I had, because it's also my biggest passion in life (soccer), I reconnected with old friends (a friend's son that I'd known since birth picked up an instant connection to me).

All that said not to brag, but to show a better future is possible. As far as hobbies go, find something you like, no matter what it is - sports, working out, swimming, jogging, movies, reading, video games, painting, writing, sculpting, bowling. It really doesn't matter, except that it's something you enjoy.