Am reading a great book at the moment

Homosexuality and the Christian by Mark Yarhouse.
http://www.amazon.com/Homosexuality-Christian-Parents-Pastors-Friends/dp/0764207318/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1333027501&sr=1-1

In it he suggests we see our sexuality on three levels.

The first is the experience of same-gender attraction. The emphasis here is on experience. This is quite simply the reality that one is (at least occasionally) attracted sexually to the same gender.

The second level is orientation. This level asks, To what level does one's same-gender attraction dominate one's sexual experiences of attraction? If one was primarily and predominately attracted to the same-gender one would say they have a homosexual orientation.

The third level is identity. This is where we take our experience and our orientation and we decide where we stand in relation to it. How will we make decisions and live our lives based on our experiences and orientation.

Some will decide on a "gay" identity and will choose to live out their "gay identity" in homosexual relationships.
Others will decide that their experience of sexual attraction does not determine what path they are meant to go on in life and will choose to forgo coitally (having sex) relating to the same-gender.

I'm paraphrasing here (above).

I'm not quite on board with the language he uses... "gay identity"... this doesn't sit right with me really. But I get where he's going and I find these levels very significant.

It's kind of like the assumption that the general population make that all people who are sexually attracted to children will eventually be sexing them. NO NO NO NO NO.

Being attracted to boys is one thing... being predominately attracted to boys is another... neither of these "experiences" predetermine that we are going to be actively engaging boys in sexual activity.

I believe it is quite harmonious with a Christian ethic to have a strong desire for something and to forsake engaging it for a greater good. Even though this forsaking will lead to (potentially) a life time of suffering.

Blessings
Cat.