If you've given up on Chritian views, there's nothing I could say that would be any help to you. Being a Christian is a great deal more than mere "fire insurance" against hell. But again, there's nothing I could say that would convince you of that. A personal relationship with Jesus is something each must discover in his own way and in his own time. And without a relationship with Jesus, anything else in life is meaningless. Just my humble opinion.

Dakota