Christian BoyLove Forum #65320
I have a friend - and no, it's NOT me(!) who married a woman in the full knowledge by both parties that his orientation was homosexual. She entered the marriage not expecting anything sexually. I'm happy to say that some 7 years down the line they have 2 children and the marriage is working out well.
This is not to say that it's the answer for everyone, and I have another friend who is a BL but also attracted to women. He's married, and it's not going well - he's more in love with his YF than his wife; though in that case she's NOT aware of the other attraction in his life. A central complexity in the debate is that actually people usually aren't 100% gay. Tom Robinson, for those of us of a certain age, is a particularly well known example of this: despite singing the gay anthem 'Sing if you're glad to be gay', he subsequently settled down with a woman, in the face of a lot of flak from the gay community See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Robinson for the story - see 'personal life'. Overall I suspect this is an issue where God isn't going to always work in one way or the other. This is a frustration to those on BOTH sides who want simple answer; the truth of course is that Christianity is about a relationship with God, not with a set of rules. Which is rather more interesting... Some of us don't like interesting... I write as someone who doesn't think he has a straight bone in his body (probably an anatomically correct statement, but you know what I mean!). I tend to endorse the 'disability' model, seeing being gay as a form of impairment which will probably not get healed; as I don't expect God to heal every blind, deaf or lame person, I don't expect Him to heal all gays. One of the problems is that there are Christian organisations that expect to reorientate all gays; I'll take them seriously when they heal all the residents of the local hospital. That said, I think we need to be open to the possibility, and welcome opportunities to work stuff through. But beware getting mixed up with people who take the more extreme view - it WILL mess you up. |