thanks for all your replies.

i do feel a lot more hopeful these days, partly im starting to understand that oftentimes my feelings on things and boys are wrong. ive also learned to be a lot more selfless, which has set me free. however, i was being a bit of a prick so him calling me out on that wasnt totally unfounded although i've also learned not to be too nice.

finally, for the first time, ive managed to make the transition from seeing a boy i really fancy everyday to a completely online friendship. im happy to say we have much joy hanging out so far in the online world. things are going good right now so im feeling good.