I hear stories in the news, most recently of men like Jerry Sandusky, who were unable to find appropriate ways to live out their attraction to youth. I think my greatest fear is ending up like him.

The problem is that for every Sandusky, there are countless other BLs who will never make the news because there's nothing exciting to report about them. They live upright lives helping boys along the way. That just doesn't make for a great news story. Occasionally you do get glimpses here and there from those whose contribution was large enough to be noticed: Father Flanagan, Robert Baden-Powell, or J.M. Barrie to name a few but then you are left wondering whether you might be mistaken about them being BLs. The deck is stacked against the positive BL role models ever coming to your attention. People who live good, decent lives rarely make the news and if they did, you wouldn't be sure they are a BL anyway.

I don't want my motive to be doing ministry to be selfish

Ask anyone in ministry how they knew that was the ministry they needed to be involved in. Time and time again, you will hear the same answer; it's something they had a passion for. Those involved in medical missions tend to have a passion for healing the sick. Those involved in missionary work to a specific nation tend to have a passion for that nation, its people, its culture, etc. Those involved in ministering to the homeless have a passion for helping the homeless. It isn't selfishness, it is a God-given passion for doing what created them to do. It's not any more wrong for you to serve in the area you are passionate about than it would be if you were passionate about healing the sick and used your medical training to serve on medical mission trips.