I was wondering how everybody else feels in regards to their BL? It seems so difficult to be happy with this "orientation". I try to remind myself to be happy with life the way it is, but it always feels like there is something missing. I read Plato's symposium, and while the subject is love in general, they focus a lot on BL. They even go as far as implying it is the most perfect love. With BL being such an evil topic in contemporary times, it makes me wonder how we are supposed to live. The symposium makes BL seem so wonderful and fulfilling, I don't know why people are so against it. I do often wonder what is going through a boy's mind, and if he could really feel love for me. If a famous piece of literature can make such a statement about BL, there must be some hope. But finding that fulfilling relationship now would be illegal, even if it wasn't sexual. No parent wants their "little boy" to be in love with a man, so how could it ever happen? Does anybody else think that if it is going to happen, it will just happen? Even though it may be illegal and everything, if it was right, would it work? Do you live with the hope of finding that fulfillment and true happiness, or the thought of simply being content without?

A straight friend of mine said he feels that his relationship with his girlfriend is blessed by Jesus. He feels that Jesus wants He and She to be together. I have had similar thoughts, but it feels like only one of us could have a heaven blessed relationship. And needless to say, my relationship would make me a terrible sinner in the eyes of society. I find there seems to be a correlation between intelligence and happiness. I think if my brain was less active, I wouldn't feel the same. I remember an episode of "House M.D." where a genius was drinking a cough syrup to make himself dumber so he could just be happy. I feel like I am out of options, and maybe living in a medicated stupor is the only way to continue. But what kind of life would that be? Besides prayer and living with hope, what do you do to get through each day?