I have been to the forum before, and I come back when the trolls subside and I have an issue to discuss. I struggle, as does everybody else, but it seems unique to me since I am the only person I know with my orientation. I am a religious scholar, so my walk with God is more educated than most, which fuels my confusion and depression. It is difficult for me to accept God's plan since I feel so isolated. And since people wouldn't accept me if they knew my secret, I live in constant fear of all my good works being erased with a single revelation. I am anxious for all things to come to pass and find out the real Truth. Life gets unbearable at times and I some times feel that is the point, to see how much is too much. It is difficult to explain myself appropriately while remaining ambiguous enough to remain anonymous.