Written by Keith Clark, a Capuchin Friar - that's a type of Roman Catholic monk who is active in the community - it, and its sequel, 'Being sexual... and celibate', offer a very honest engagement with the painful issues that we all do face if we are live well despite being celibate. Clark's main motto is 'finding God concrete' - creating space in our lives to engage with God at length, especially when things are hard; he comments that some of the strongest compliments that he has received for his ministry have followed after times when he felt he was most struggling. Which should not really be a surprise...

Beyond that: I think you need to work out whether your de facto pursuit of a sexual relationship with a boy is really compatible with our faith. I would argue that its not - and that therefore we must work out other ways to live. But if you are certain it is, I'd be interested to see your reasoning!