I didn't have a clue what to say when you posted, and I'm pleased that you've received a lot of support on BoyChat. So I now feel able to invite you to consider this hard question...

Beyond that, it is of course the case that you are a victim of our society's rejection of close inter-generational relationships. By contrast the bible seems to see them as acceptable - if they were good enough for David and Jesus, it seems likely that God doesn't always reject them, though it's important to see that those two biblical examples wouldn't have had a sexual component; whether you could challenge your mother with that biblical precedent is 'interesting'... Because that's an element that is problematic in what you wrote on BC: the command to 'honour your father and mother' is not an optional extra, and to plan to break all contact will damage you in the end.

And admitting to your friends how important he was to you SHOULD also be possible using those biblical stories if they are serious Christians. You need some real life support as well as what you are getting online, and your church OUGHT to be providing that. OTOH a lot of churches can't think beyond their traditions: the challenge of the protagonist of 'Footloose' to the conservative pastor did not go down well...

Staying in touch via snail mail is worth considering. I'd be amazed if he's not allowed to receive letters - and even then surely from parents are acceptable, in which case piggy backing on theirs might work.

Finally: keep praying for him. If you use the energy of your loss to kick down the doors of heaven on his behalf, then you'll be a blessing to him even if it doesn't seem like it now...