I was able to find the site and read the whole story. I can understand how this has had such an impact. You have been able to have what most of us wish we could have, a chance to live with and be with our YFs. I would say that you have had a very serious relationship and your emotions are quite reasonable. Personally I haven't had the opportunity, but what little experiences I have had are enough for me to feel a deep sense of loss when I lose a YF. We don't know what the future holds, so maybe things will change and you will get a second chance. As the famous saying goes "hope for the best, prepare for the worst".

After reading everything I am struggling for words. I am trying to think of something comforting to say, but this situation is so very difficult. If it were a typical relationship I would say that the next love is just around the corner. We all know that with this orientation "love" and "relationships" are very different and infrequent. It is like winning the lottery just to lose the ticket. Please keep us up to date with how you are doing and any new information.