...and really? Psychotic murder suicide scheme? Do you realize how obscene that is? Imagine someone you love and having someone suggest the notion of you doing something like that. What the fuck?

I know the chances aren't good but we always got along really well and it's got to mean something right? I've known plenty of people who preferred someone older for whatever reason. He's also not like most people, which is something that attracted me to him in the first place.

I know my chances aren't great. I've always known this. But neither are most people's these days. High divorce rate. Immature people in narcisstic "relationships". I can count on one hand the number of couples who act like they truly love each other. Everybody else just use each other for sex, money, companionship, status, etc.

But I have to try because otherwise, what is the point of life anyway? And no, I won't impose on or manipulate him to satisfy my needs. I care about him more than anything and I will never sacrifice his well-being for my selfish gains.