People in churches spend their lives pretending to conform - then wash up here and admit the stuff that their church can't or won't cope with. We like to pretend to be respectable - but then the mask slips...

One of the more ignored verses in the New Testament is 'confess your sins to one another'. Catholics make the priest the only person authorises to hear another's sins. Protestants react to that abuse by ignoring the verse entirely. And then we're surprised when the people claim the church is full of hypocrites.

It sounds like you are working through a load of issues. Being convinced of God's existence tends to come and go, but must be something you work out for yourself - and then have to keep up for yourself. One of the remarkable features of the story of the Israelites in the desert is the way they see God at work EVERY DAY, providing manna, yet STILL doubt Him and rebel. At some point it's a choice to live by what you've truly known - but if you've never known, then it's vital to really work it out for yourself.

So feel free to vent. If you want to get into a specific issue, that would be very welcome - as you might have noticed, it's quiet around here at the moment, so you're not likely to do any damage. And hopefully we will ALL learn something; despite remaining convinced by the way that God has organised things for me in remarkable ways that He is for real, I always find it helpful to hear why others are coming to opposite conclusions. And yes, there are some complete idiots in the church; one trick is to look through the Christians who do impress you to start wondering about how they do it.

Welcome back - hope to see more of you.