Every now and then I stop and ask myself, why doesn't God just stop all the abuse against me, why doesn't he make my life pure fun and simple the way I need, haven't I suffered enough already?

Satan never ceases tempting me to anger, ideas of retaliation against trespassers, even thoughts of self-destruction.

So I came to ask your ideas.
Can we defeat Satan by embracing our suffering?
Trying to embrace Joy never seems to lead to any further reward.
Joy in my life is so intermittently dispersed.

No matter how hard I work to try to nurture and sustain love from other people. Absolutely nobody loves me or cares about me.
Christmas will be very painful for me like it usually is.
Should I embrace the suffering like Job did?
How might I do that?