Over the years I've established good contact with a number of BLs - but it takes time for the trust to build up. My recommendation is that you start to communicate with others. I've put my email address on this post; I'd encourage you to be careful about where you email from - a lot of webmail gives your IP address, though there are a few that don't. And if you want others to email you, put yours in a post.

But the reality is that it IS hard to establish real relationships as a BL if you are in the closet. We spend a lot of our time worrying about what we say and sometimes slip up; I remember one day when a mid 20s work colleague who looked a LOT younger was wearing leather because he'd driven in on a motorbike... the word 'cute' slipped out of my mouth!

Our modern mobile society means that we lose contact with the people we grew up with, and it's hard to meet people naturally. Our churches should do this job - but often fail to serve any but the 'families with children' crowd. Single people don't fit in; although their solution - the end of family life - wasn't right, the complaint of some gay activists in the past at 'coupledom' is well founded.

Anyway - look at what you can build to do better. And asking God to provide should always be part of the deal: it's surprising what 'coincidences' happen when we pray!

eldad@webbleu.net