(But I suppose elDAD shuld make that joke)

Welcome the forum.
I can assure you that everybody in here will be willing to help if you ask
For now, I can only tell you that I pray for you and wish you all the best (and "there is only one Good" (and that is God) (Mk 10, 18) (if you don't understand that passage, just ask. I can go on for hours about this one, it's a favourite of mine)
Good luck.