Don't worry that your approach is 'intrusive'. Enabling a discussion on a topic to progress by identifying specific quotes from a person is an entirely legitimate way to do it. If they're not interested, they'll walk away. Robust discussion of concepts means risking upsetting people; the alternative is shadow boxing which seldom does anyone any good.

Where there IS a need for sensitivity is where a personal issue has been presented as personal experience. A willingness to recognise the pain that has been suffered is important. Equally however we need to recognise that personal experience can never trump what we believe God has said, tempting though that is at times.