hi all christian boylovers,
i'm a believer in Christ, and pray God. i know that he's my creator and i have to obey him. i want to. but something has been a real barrier in the whole of my life, being a boylover.
some boylovers enjoy looking at beautiful boys and their sense ends with this look. some like to have more intimate relation with them, but not involved with a real deep love with them. some think about having compromised sexual relations. they try to find a boy who is ok or wish to have such a relation with an older guy and then they fall in love and begin a new life.
as a boylover, i need a boy to 'marry with', that's to have the same relations with him a guy have after marriage with a girl. obsession, sex, love, life, have the same problems & solutions, owning another heart and sharing his own heart with,... but i've some problems with this. :~(
first, boys rarely like to have such a relation. especially when i'm so older than them. i'm 46 and have had never any relation with a boy. so, this is my problem, not a problem which they have and look in me for solving it. then, my religion, which doesn't allow me to be a homosexual. i know that all of it is not sex, it's a life which includes everything, but sex is a real requirement. a real christian is not allowed even to kiss a boy with lust.
a satisfactory life has been a requirement for me which is never had. not only by religion, but also by the boys themselves it gets impossible. this is what happens and i can't help it.
even if a boy may be found, he grows soon and i lose my life partner.
tell me how can i overcome these feelings. i tried to forget, but i can't. i tried marriage to have a replacement by a girl. but a girl can't give me a life, because i'm a boylover. i tried, but i couldn't succeed.
for sake of God, please give me a way. i can't bear more being in the pressure of these feelings.