Sexual Thought Life as Conscious Choice
Submitted by Comfort on October 05 2000 14:39:22
In reply to Sexuality as affliction, sin, or sickness submitted by Mark on October 03 2000 21:09:16
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Mark, I think we should take a careful look at the assumptions you are making. Do sexual thoughts equal sexuality? I think you are trying to fashion a notion of 'sexuality' as some kind of God-created aspect of a person like height or skin color. I strongly question the validity of such a notion, and would encourage you to check your motives for making the attempt - is it because you really feel that this is true from a preponderance of the evidence, biblical and experiential? Or is it because it will make it easier on you? And even if your notion of 'sexuality' is valid, what reason do we have, Biblically, to assume that all such 'sexuality' is good, pure and right in the eyes of God? Somehow if we can force it to be true that all 'sexuality' is instinctive, we can then happily assume that all 'sexuality' must have been intended by God, and therefore all 'sexuality' must be OK by Him. Then, basically, we could be free to assume there is no such thing as 'sexual sin' or immorality, as long as I can hide it under the guise of my 'inborn sexuality'. I humbly submit that if we investigate this hypothesis with a desire for understanding, we will soon see it to be nonsense - an attempt at self-justification of sensual behavior. I submit that from experience and from the teaching of the Bible, we can understand that we are responsible for our thoughts - we can choose what thoughts we will allow to remain in our mind once they enter in. We can either allow them to stay and feed them, or we can purposefully choose to reject them and think thoughts in order with God's desires. You seem to claim that if we of our own will and volition would choose to dwell on certain sexual thoughts about boys, that we can then claim that those thoughts were inspired by God because we 'can't help thinking them'. It is just as preposterous for a married man to insist that it is God's purposed desire for him to lust after other women's bodies, and imagine himself engaging in sexual intercourse with those women. Sexual thoughts about other women, after all, just randomly occur to his mind. Therefore, he should assume that they are just part of his sexuality. Following your logic, since they are 'just part of his sexuality', they are spawned and intended by God, and OK to keep thinking and entertaining, dwelling on and mulling over, manipulating and enjoying. And they are therefore not sin. A fine line of reasoning, except the Bible says specifically that they are sin. You, I assume, know these Scriptures (another question - do we believe the Bible and accept it as God's truth and an authority for guiding our behavior, or do we employ it only when convenient for justifying our behavior?). Jesus says it is sin for us to look at a woman to lust for her. It seems fair to me to say that Jesus means that thinking sexual thoughts about a woman you see and are not married to is sin. Have I read too much into that? In Romans 1 it condemns those men who 'burned with lust' for other men. Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit (again, do we believe that?), is telling us that a man thinking about engaging in sexual activity with another man is sin. Have I really stretched the intent of the Scriptures too far with that? That being said, Mark, I support your emphasis on the idea that it is more important what you do with sexual thoughts about boys, than whether or not they come into your mind in the first place. I feel you are right in that you should not condemn yourself for having sexual thoughts about boys enter your mind. It is no different than sinful thoughts of any kind entering anyone's mind. But the mind is where Satan begins his battle, and it is one we must win. Once thoughts enter, we are responsible for what we will do with them. I have learned that from painful experience, Mark. In my own personal struggle against sexual thoughts about boys, I became lax and decided they were not something I would really need to battle against. I would periodically ask forgiveness for them, and did not really feel any heavy condemnation for them. That lax attitude led me to entertain the thoughts more often, which led me, over a long period of time (years), to do other things to entertain them a little more. I would not say that I was a sinner more than anyone else, but my allowing these thoughts to go on in my mind gave Satan a foothold to bring more. I eventually started looking at porn on the internet about boys, and after months of that (again, after each bout with porn, I was sincerely (or so I thought) asking for God's forgiveness), I was spiritually weak in that area, and much more open to temptation to sin. When a situation with one boy in my church arose where it became very easy to be sexual with him without being caught - rather than stand against it, I gave in. God's mercy allowed me to be convicted, and I confessed to the parents and my pastors. In the end, by the grace of God, I avoided jail. I have since been in strict accountability with my pastors and the parents of the boy, and by God's grace, am being restored. But this all could have been avoided had I simply obeyed what the Bible said about guarding my thoughts against lust. James 1:14-16: but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. This verse makes it pretty clear. Temptation to sin is not from God ("For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone" (v. 13)). A sexual desire for boys is not God's desire, Mark, since sex with boys is sin. It is our "own evil desire" that causes us to long for it. The Word tells us that the desire itself is evil, it is not from God. And when we allow ourselves to be dragged away and enticed by our own evil desire, it brings about sin (it did in my life!), and continuing in sin will lead to death. The Scripture ends by begging us not to be deceived! We may have temptations, we may have an evil desire for sexual intimacy with boys, but we do not have to allow it to entice us or drag us away to sin. Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Another version says, "let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think". God can renew our mind and change the way we think - we can allow the Spirit of God to help us fight against thoughts that are not of him! Romans 1:28: Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. Again - and this is the chapter on homosexuality - it started with them not allowing their minds to be controlled by God - and God gave them over to that evil that was in their minds! We need but retain the knowledge of God in our minds to avoid being given over to our own evil thoughts and desires. Phillipians 4:8 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. We can allow God to guard the thoughts of our minds. How? By being thankful, acknowledging him and bringing all things, even our though life, to Him in prayer. The Scriptures go on to admonish, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." -- the Scripture is clear; we can decide what to think about, and we should. My hope and prayer is that the thoughts and Scriptures written here may, as described in 2 Peter 3:1, "stimulate you to wholesome thinking." God's grace to you as you endeavor to serve Him! |
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