The Bottom Line
Submitted by GraceComesFirst on November 30 2000 01:42:25
In reply to Excellent point! submitted by mvanhouten on November 28 2000 09:14:11
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The bottom line for me in being a Christian, is that it is all about love in the end. Knowledge is good, but I think love is better than knowledge (1 Cor. 13). So what if we have theological arguments, disagreements, or uncertainties? Does that change the fact that we all believe in God in one way or another, and we are all here to help each other? I don't think so. The bottom line for being in being a gay man (and a teenboylover, in case anyone insists on separating that from "gay"), is that I try to treat everyone as my equals. (Even females, hehe!) I've been persecuted too much in my life, to ever think that I am better than someone else. But I also don't want to think of myself as worse than anyone else, just equal. So I think that the key to unlocking the mystery of boylove, is that boylovers are SUPPOSED to treat boys as their equals; that is the whole point of honest relationships. Now, this is different from the way "normal" adults treat children; "normal" adults look at children as being inferior versions of themselves. But that is exactly why the world needs some people who won't do that! We need people who will take boys seriously enough to really care for them at a deeper level. Honestly, would many regular hetero people really want to spend hours and hours with a boy, day in and day out, if they were not the boy's parents? Probably not. But boylovers would! And it's crazy to suggest that a kid's parents should be the only adults who have any time of intimate relationship with him. It really does take a whole village to raise a child, and while boys definitely need authority figures in their lives, they also need friends. I read in the Whosoever website, that the purpose of this board is to help boylovers discern God's will for their lives. Let me just offer this: the simplest purpose that God has for boylovers, is that they should love boys. It's all in the name!! As soon as our culture can learn to separate and make a clear distinction between child molestation, and boylove (which are two very different things!), then we will be getting to a much better place. And for any boylover who is newly struggling with this, I hope that you will find the strength and faith to be able to have relationships with boys, without feeling overwhelmed by lust or the desire to take advantage of them. Just separate out in your mind, the desire for sexual intercourse, from the rest of what you feel for boys. If you can just cut that little piece out of the picture, or get it under control, then you'll be set!! Speaking as a recovering addict, I know it can be done! Don't rush it though; if you feel too tempted by lust, it's probably better to avoid spending too much time around boys until you've worked through that. [I know that there are professionals who can help with such things. I've discussed boylove with my therapist, and he didn't threaten to lock me up, or anything ;) ] (For anyone who thinks that healthy sexual relationships between underage boys and men are a possibility, I would say, yes, of course they would be, in an ideal world. But we don't live in an ideal world. We have to be realistic about the fact that that kind of thing is just way to risky for everyone involved, for it to be a good idea in most situations. But as long as you place the boy's well-being ahead of your own, you'll be fine). |
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