Re: C. S. Lewis
Submitted by GraceComesFirst on December 02 2000 00:15:03
In reply to C. S. Lewis submitted by Heather on November 30 2000 19:40:52
|
Interesting, I really appreciate his openness and positive remarks...of course, since I don't think there's anything wrong with "pederasty" (because I am a lover of teenage boys--in my mind and heart that is--though not in real-life sexual relationships), I must disagree with his characterization of it as "unnatural". As I've said before, I am more liberal in these matters than many fundamentalist Christians would be, but still more conservative than many non-Christians. I really believe that sexual orientations are inborn, not chosen, and that they are given by God. Thus, it might be "unnatural" for someone who is heterosexual (or homosexual) and NOT attracted to boys, to use one for sex, becase that goes against their basic sexual orientation toward adults. But if someone's basic orientation is to boys already, then I don't see how the desire to have a relationship with a boy can be called "unnatural" for that person. I think of "natural" and "unnatural" as relating to whatever is in the core of each individual; not some abstract rule of "natural law" (which I don't believe in anyway). Even so, in our society, it is necessary that any desire toward boys be channeled into a spiritual form of friendship, rather than an overt sexual relationship. Dare I say that I am a pederast (or that I would be, if the law would permit it)? "Pederast" is just the Greek form of the word teenboylove that I have used. I am gay too--the oldest guy that I ever had a sexual relationship with was in his 50s, and the youngest was 17--but all the better relationships that I have had have been with people under 30. And my favorite boyfriend of all time was 17. Real love means a lot to me, because I have had so many shallow and meaningless sexual experiences--but real love means the world to me. And I was in love with that boy more than anyone I have ever known. He may have been 17 instead of 25 or 30, but he was better to me than any older man had ever been, and he let me love him without fear. He was so beautiful, inside and out, and I will love him forever, even though we parted and no longer see each other. (But we parted on good terms--even his mother liked me and approved of our relationship!) But our relationship was amazing, and having sex with HIM was the most wonderfully powerful experience (the age of consent where I live is 16, so it was not illegal). Now perhaps 17 is old enough to be practically an adult, but still, I love teenage boys, and I loved him with all my heart and soul, and so pederasty seems like a really cool thing to me, to be honest with you. But it must be done rightly, just like any other type of relationship. There is no excuse for abuse or unnecessary risk or law-breaking. Please, don't think that I am encouraging anyone to be reckless! I am just trying to be honest about the fact that I totally disagree with the world's prejudices about man-boy relationships, and I can say that, since I was also boy who loves men, and an abuse victim--but I have recovered from my past, and I hold no one accountable for what was done to me, except the two men who did it. Their vile actions have no reflection upon the moral worth of boylove or teenboylove as a concept. I don't want to unncessarily offend any anti-BL people who read this board, or any newly out BLers who are uncertain about their beliefs, but I refuse to deny the fact that I am totally pro-boylove in my own personal opinions. And I think it is important to take note that someone like me who was once abused as a teen can get to this point. I have not been brainwashed, or anything like that, and the reason I love teen boys now has certainly got nothing to do with my own past. I loved them long before I was ever abused. So I believe what I believe because it is the truth, as far as I can see. Love is good, no matter what form it takes. I've been volunteering in youth ministry for years, even from the time I was a teen myself, (though I did stop interacting with boys during the time I was struggling with addiction, for obvious reasons), yet I have never touched or seduced a boy, or done one single thing that is untoward or socially inappropriate. And I am also attracted to most of the boys that I work with. But that fact only makes me love them more and be more determined to help them and do everything in my power to be a good role model and leader for them. So If I can learn to control and channel and discipline my sexuality, anyone can do it. And the fact that my therapist knows how I feel, and the kind of work that I do, and they haven't locked me up yet, gives me hope. I would put this question to any anti-BL person: what gets you up in the morning? What makes your life worth living? What is it that you find special in the world, a source of beauty? What if I am having a really hard day, and am tired and feeling depressed and discouraged, and I don't want to do anything for anyone--how can I make a positive contribution to the world? But what if I am in a bad mood like that, and then I realize that there are some beautiful boys out there who need help, and the thought of going to help them motivates me to get off my butt and do some good in this world, and one of the reasons I feel motivated to help them is because I love their beauty; and then I go out and touch the lives of young men who would otherwise be alone and helpless, and I give them hope, and teach them about God and show them that they are good and loved human beings? How can anyone say that is wrong? So what if there is a little bit of a sexual component to my motivation? I would never act on that, and if it gives me a little extra spark to go out and make a difference in these boys' lives, then why do you want to criticize that? My personal thoughts and feelings are no one else's business. Judge me by the positive influence I try to make on the world, not by my private personal life. |
Follow ups: