Critique
Submitted by David on January 12 2001 17:15:37
In reply to biblical view (repost) submitted by Splash! on January 12 2001 03:15:24
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Splash: I just sent you a long letter, but then my computer died, and so befoire I screamed out I was reminded how God keeps us humble: so too with our boylove, our desire for boys keeps us humble in our inability to have them. You post is rather good, and I was impressed, although I disagree with you on a couple points. For I do not see boylove as a sin, or the sexual lust for boys as wrong, but simply as God using our lust to get at a deeper self, and doing good by it. For lust comes from the heart, because it shows us what is within the heart. Lust is bigger than us, and so we need it to show us the outer-self. For man can lust after anything, for God himself is a lusting after because to want God so badly is to lust after him, and within that fantaical lust is a deep desire for God. But lust is controlled because it is broken. We cannot hold God, we can simply continue striving for him. For boylove is a entry into a truer self, that exceeds repression, and fanatsicism. It must be balasnced in our ability to transcend it without represseing it. It is a part of self, but not total self. There is no true self, because the more we strive toward it the more it is created, but to grow closer to it, and our hearts is to accept our boylove, and then move with it, and beyond it without losing it. Your reflection on your former Boy, were beautful. You are what I would call the balanced boylover: accepting the illegality and limitness of a physical/sexual relationship- but at a cost to yourself. You alwys had that to reach toward without ever holding it, and so by repressing your sexual desires for the boy you grew with him in many other ways, and the tension helps to create a new you, and a new us. But what I am saying is that it is LUST that first got you involved with the boy. I am sure on the external level you may have liked him because he was a good nice Christian boy, but somewhere in you something said "I want him," and so it is thanks to lust that God could use you to help this boy along in his life. But had you sexualized the relationship there would then be no "then-what," because it would have been signified, overwith. But you needed lust to bring you deeper into his soul, and the depths of God. ANd so lust is a gift that reason must be able to evaluate. When we lose sight of lust it becomes us, for lust is a gift from God that we must use carefully, because like most things precious, including boys, it must be handled with great attention and delicacy. God Speed David Postscript: are you Catholic? Formewr religious? I ask because I saw the reference to the Christian Borthers, and I am young, but do consider a vocation, so would be interested to know if you were, or associations. |
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