psychologists & THE letter
Submitted by Splash! on February 01 2001 00:23:48
In reply to psychologists & THE letter submitted by John Doe on January 31 2001 08:58:14
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It is so good to hear that your wife asked you to go get some help. I hope she said this in a way that shows that she is really concerned for you, wants to help you, and hopes to keep the family together. I once saw a psychologist for the same problem -- for myself, so I could figure myself out and get past the struggles. I did a lot of testing, as psychologists usually do to their "clients". I turned out to be very normal, and highly intelligent, but he wanted to do another test, called a penile test to see how strong my sexual attractions were for certain types of people, and he wanted me to join a group of people who were having the same struggle (unfortunately, I think most of these people were ex-child molesters). I didn't like the direction the psychologist was going with me. I appreciated the fact that he was Christian, but I didn't appreciate the way he seemed to feel about me. He made me feel dirty, and he wanted me to dig up my past to find something to blame it on. Also, he didn't make me feel very comfortable about telling him details because he said, "I am bound by the law to report to law enforcement any discussion we may have about illegal activity." What would he consider illegal activity? If I talked about a boy staying the night with me, and me being sexually attracted to him, would he report that to the police even though *I know* I never did anything illegal with the boy? How much could I say and get away with it? His suspicions about illegal activity may have been enough for him to report it to the police. I never felt safe about that. Also, on my report he put down "CM" as a diagnosis. What else does this mean but Child Molester? I really felt that seeing him would cause more harm than good. So I left him and prayed that God alone would deliver me from these struggles and that I would find a friend to talk to about these things. I think you'll have better luck, though. I pray all goes well for you, and that your wife will eventually participate in some of those meetings so she can better understand this part of you and help support and strengthen you. One problem I encountered a couple years later was when I had to do a lie detector interview for a government job I had applied for. The question was asked, "Have you ever seen a psychologist?" I lied and said, "No." If I would have said "yes," then I know they would've asked why AND they would have gotten the paperwork to see for themselves. They had already interviewed some of my friends from 10 years back and asked them VERY personal questions about me. They would have definitely researched why I went to a psychologist. Anyway, I passed that question, but I failed some more simple questions which I answered true, including my name! They did the test again, and I passed that question again, but failed even more questions that I had answered truthfully. Well, I didn't get the job. They felt I was hiding something important. But that's okay, because I got a better job less than a year later. You had talked about a letter. Whether it's meant to be a suicide note or not, I'd hold off on it for awhile. We often make a big deal of certain things when we're in the middle of a crisis situation, and we end up saying things that we really shouldn't say. I'd definitely wait until you were past this time of your life, or until you are able to see the whole thing a bit more objectively. Also, be careful of saying too much. Think about what you want to be remembered for, and think about the things that you want to say to your son so he can live and grow on those words for the rest of his life. Spend some time on this letter. I bet that a couple months from now you'll want to rewrite most of it. In my past, I've often said things too quickly and ended up revealing too much. If I could, I'd take a lot of those words back. I wish you the best! I will continue to pray for your family. It is good to hear that your are making steps toward keeping the family together. I hope your wife sees this also and stays by your side. You might share some of the words your pyschologist (and other people) have said to you that might make her feel more comfortable. God Bless! Splash |
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