hard to control
Submitted by Disturbed on March 11 2001 05:15:44
In reply to Welcome to CBF submitted by Bach on March 10 2001 11:11:05
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Thanks for the welcome. Why are you worried about "acting out"? Do you have a history of not controlling yourself? Do you find your sexual desires overpowering? Once when I was playing in a pool with some young relatives, "lisa" was in front of me talking to me and treading water... I started to push my leg up so it would touch her between her legs, but I stopped for some reason. Once a young girl and I were playing on a bed and she had my hands behind my back and was kneeling behing me. I attempted to push my arms up to contact between her legs, but she moved. Several months ago I was playing with a little girl and I let my hand slip between her legs (for less than a second) -- she was wearing a swimsuit. (I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post details like this.) These are the only incidences in which I was overpowered by my desires. I didn't plan any of my actions, they were split-second reactions to the opportunity. Each time I made an attempt I did so thinking the girl would think it was an accident or not really notice it. The last incident that happened several months ago really scares me, because I actually did touch the girl. It shows that I am not 100% in control of myself. I believe it is very wrong for anyone to sexually touch a child, but my desires are so strong. I'd be very careful about getting married if you have no attraction to adult females... you may be setting yourself up for failure! That's some good advice. I'm not totally unattracted to adult females, though. Sometimes (very rarely) I will find an adult female attractive -- if she looks good and seems to have high morals. I pray that one day I'll find a woman I'm compatible with so we can marry and have a family. -Disturbed |
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